Court (non)Appearance

From about 1994 until 2001, I served in the thankless position as board member of my homeowners' association. Not only was it thankless then, it is thankless still.

Several weeks ago, the current President called to ask if I would testify in a case involving an issue that had been active under my watch, and indeed was active before and since! Of course, I was eager to do the right thing, but more importantly, I thought it might be even more fun than Judge Judy because there are some wacky characters involved in this thing.

So, off I went. Trial was to begin at 9:00. We sat and waited. And listed to the unbelievably non-professional courtroom staff yak across the room at one another. Finally, at around 9:45, Her Highness the Judge entered. Then she decided to deal with two other matters first.

Finally, our case was called. I was on pins and needles -- knitting needles that is, as I had been able to sneak them past the check in -- which was indeed the high point of my day.

The plaintiff's (dumbass) attorney began his opening blumbering ... I mean, Statement. After 5 or 6 sentences, he remembered to ask the judge to throw the witnesses out in the cold corridor so that we couldn't glom on to each other's testimony.

The benches were miserable. The other witnesses were mostly equally miserable -- to themselves as well as to me.

So we waited. And I knitted on Mark's UT scarf, White Panel Numero Uno. And we waited. I knitted a while; then paced awhile as my back is damn well ruined from hauling 40,000 pounds of concrete chunks yesterday. But I digress ...

After a time, they all came out to tell us that we were breaking for lunch.

And we ate lunch. And we went back to the hard benches. And we waited.

And after a loooonger time, they came out to say that we were recessed for the day, but would reconvene tomorrow. There were 3 uncalled witnesses (including myself).

All day I spent listening to a guy that knows everything about everything, and is even more negative than I am in this post (by the way, I am getting on my own nerves with this bitching).

But I must continue.

Not only did I have to endure the negative, but I didn't get to listen to the white trash, "Oh no she di int" in the courtroom --- AND, my testimony was no longer necessary.

That's right, don't come back tomorrow. Which, of course, I would only rather do more than, say, sticking needles in my eyes.

Yes, I'm bitter.

Let's wind this thing up on the positive ---

Ya'll remember, I hope, that The Brothas at Chez Schavis are retrievers? Although Wally was the first to display this trait at a very tender age, Beau is more likely to seek out a game at present.

Here he is with his favorite "prey", a twist tie.